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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26570371">we're making the best of this world</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinealightonme/pseuds/shinealightonme'>shinealightonme</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, COVID-19, Crushes, Fluff, M/M, Quarantine, Roommates, background Blue/Ronan brotp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:49:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26570371</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinealightonme/pseuds/shinealightonme</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan doesn't get to see much of his roommate; whenever Adam's home, he stays in his room. So if he won't get to see Adam during his quarantine, well, at least he's used to that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>943</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>we're making the best of this world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for a prompt on tumblr, "roommates!au + unrequited love + "do you ever feel like you’re far away no matter where you are?" + pynch, please!!"</p><p>I solicited prompts back in, uh, May, and then I got THIS prompt and said "I have an idea for this but I should write it fast because it's already kinda outdated" and then I took four months to finish it. Lucky for me time is fake! The real March of 2020 was inside of us all along, oh dear, that isn't lucky at all.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ronan gets a text from Adam on Friday afternoon.</p><p>He doesn't get a lot of texts from Adam. Every single time he does he locks up in an agonizing mess of excitement and nausea and panic, and every single time the text ends up being <em>I'm at the store, do we need paper towels</em> or <em>I have an early morning tomorrow, can you keep it down tonight</em>, because Ronan thinks that Adam is brilliant and beautiful and awe-inspiring, and Adam has never thought of Ronan as anything besides <em>roommate who is almost but not quite annoying enough to evict.</em></p><p>This time the text actually does deserve the anxiety it causes.</p><p>
  <em>I just found out my coworker tested positive for covid. Office is shutting down and I'm going to quarantine in my room for the next two weeks. Can we figure out a distancing protocol?</em>
</p><p>Ronan waits for his heart to explode, because <em>Adam is going to die</em>, and then because <em>Adam is going to be home with me all day for two entire weeks</em>, and then because <em>Adam is going to be home and HIDE FROM ME for two entire weeks</em>.</p><p>His heart doesn't explode, although it tries really hard, so he has to respond.</p><p><em>you get your room I get the rest of the place</em><br/>
<em>sounds good to me</em></p><p>
  <em>Ha.</em>
</p><p>He used a period for a single-word text. Adam is one coldblooded son of a bitch. Ronan bites his knuckle.</p><p>
  <em>Seriously, we need some kind of plan for the kitchen at least. You'll have to stay out while I'm using it and then sanitize afterwards.</em>
</p><p><em>I'm not sanitizing the kitchen three times a day</em><br/>
<em>stay in your pestilence cave</em></p><p>
  <em>I need to eat, Lynch</em>
</p><p><em>fine i'll bring you food</em><br/>
<em>happy?</em></p><p>Three dots. No dots. Three dots. No dots. It's not like Adam to be indecisive.</p><p>
  <em>I can't ask you to feed me for two weeks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>but you can ask me to be your fucking maid?</em>
</p><p>Three dots. No dots. This is the most thought Adam has ever put into having a conversation with Ronan.</p><p><em>All right, if you'd rather help with meals than with sanitizing that's your call</em><br/>
<em>We can split groceries for the next two weeks. I'll put in an order for delivery when I get home, let me know what you want</em></p><p>And bam -- back to normal, just two roommates talking about apartment business; that's all it ever is.</p><p>-</p><p>Ronan never really met Adam.</p><p>He'd just been hanging out at Sargent's place one day and her roommate had walked in and she'd half-introduced them, <em>oh, Adam, this is my friend Ronan,</em> and Adam had nodded at him and disappeared off into his room before Ronan had even finished saying <em>what the fuck, Sargent, you can't just tell people I'm your friend.</em> He'd been around in the background sometimes when Ronan visited, grabbing a soda from the fridge, handing Sargent her mail, asking Ronan to move his car out of the driveway so he could leave. Ronan heard about him more than he saw him, like Sargent was living with a fucking Bigfoot. He only ever got snapshot impressions, <em>hot, aloof, needs to pull the stick out of his ass,</em> and he never thought about what kind of impression he was making on Adam.</p><p>Ronan never really moved into the apartment, either.</p><p>He'd just -- hung out there, sometimes, when the alternative was staying home or doing something stupid. He stopped wanting to do stupid shit so much, and he never really wanted to be home, so he went to the apartment a lot. His crap slowly piled up in the corner of Sargent's room. Her spare key ended up on his key ring. He broke their couch one night, mostly on accident, and he replaced it with something that he could sleep on without waking up half-dead. By the time Sargent moved to the jungle to study penguins it was just obvious to all of them that he would take over her half of the rent.</p><p>Even after Ronan stopped pretending he didn't live there, he didn't see much of his roommate. Adam wasn't home often, and when he was he kept to his room. It took months for all of their small interactions to add up; by the time Ronan realized <em>oh, fuck, I'm so into him,</em> Adam's opinion of him was already set, and Ronan never got a chance to talk to him long enough to change it, not like he was any good at talking to people anyway.</p><p>So if he won't get to see Adam during his quarantine, well, at least he's used to that.</p><p>-</p><p>Ronan stands by his decision: he's not going to clean the kitchen every time Adam breathes on something.</p><p>He hadn't considered what it would mean to be responsible for Adam's food, though,  breakfast lunch dinner. He hadn't considered that he'd have be awake at all of the hours that normal people eat those meals. He hadn't considered, until he opened the fridge for breakfast the first morning, that he's never fed someone else.</p><p>His mom cooked, growing up, or if she wasn't home then Declan did. He does easy, lazy meals, or else he gets takeout, especially if it's not just for himself; he doesn't fuck around with any of that <em>show off for a guy with homemade meals</em> shit. Really the closest he's come is making late night snacks for Sargent when they were both shitfaced, and that was always just throwing frozen crap in the oven and trying not to forget it before it burned. He doesn't think Adam wants to eat potato skins and ranch dressing at eight o'clock in the morning. Except what does Adam eat at eight o'clock in the morning? Does he eat breakfast? Is he one of those coffee and protein shake freaks? Why couldn't he have gone to brunch with them, just <em>one time,</em> and then Ronan would know this shit about him?</p><p>The fridge beeps that he's left the door open too long. He scowls and opens it wider.</p><p>It's full up with the groceries Adam ordered yesterday. If he ordered something he must be willing to eat it, right? There's eggs and a package with the word <em>bacon</em> on it, except it also has the word <em>meatless</em> on it, just to screw with him. The bright side of Sargent running off to harass koala bears was supposed to be that he didn't get guilt trips from his food anymore.</p><p>He throws together a meal that looks edible, even if it does have smug impostor bacon on it, and sets the plate down in the hallway.</p><p>He knocks on Adam's door. "Food."</p><p>"Thanks," Adam calls back, but he doesn't open the door. Because he's giving Ronan time to get away, because Ronan's not supposed to be in breathing range when he opens the door. Right.</p><p>He walks off before Adam can catch him lurking, goes back to the kitchen and decides that <em>potato skins and ranch at eight in the morning</em> sounds pretty damn good.</p><p>-</p><p>He only has to panic about making lunch for ten minutes before he can figure out how to do it; by dinner he's cut that down to five.</p><p>By the second day he feels pretty good. Maybe he could do that <em>impress a guy by cooking for him</em> thing. Except there's only one guy he wants to impress, and he's tried, and it doesn't work. He feels less good.</p><p>-</p><p>On the third day, Ronan hears Adam coughing.</p><p>He leaves a bottle of cough syrup with breakfast. The food disappears inside the room, but the cough syrup is still there when Ronan checks a few minutes later.</p><p>He snaps a picture of it sitting alone on the floor and texts Adam: <em>you made it sad</em></p><p>To his surprise, Adam texts back:</p><p><em>I have cough syrup</em><br/>
<em>Non-drowsy cough syrup</em></p><p><em>you got something better to do in there than sleep?</em> He phrases it like a question even though he knows Adam doesn't. If he had anything good to do with his time he wouldn't bother talking to Ronan.</p><p>
  <em>I'm trying to get work done. Being lucid helps</em>
</p><p>
  <em>they gave you the PLAGUE tell them to fuck off</em>
</p><p>Adam doesn't answer. He doesn't need words to tell someone to fuck off.</p><p>-</p><p>Ronan starts some soup heating up for lunch and digs around in the cupboards. He ate his way through all the food Sargent left behind when she fucked off to plant trees in Antarctica, but the weirder shit just got pushed to the back. He's pretty sure -- there it is.</p><p>He puts a cup of tea out with Adam's lunch.</p><p><em>This tea is disgusting,</em> Adam informs him, ten minutes after the food disappears from the hallway.</p><p>
  <em>it's for sore throats</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You could have warned me</em>
</p><p><em>it smells like shit</em><br/>
<em>that was the warning</em><br/>
<em>your fault you ignored it</em></p><p>
  <em>Haven't you ever had a cold? I can't smell anything right now.</em>
</p><p>When Adam leaves the dishes out after lunch, the mug is empty. Because he poured the tea out? Or because he drank it?</p><p>If it had really been that bad he could have smashed the mug so Ronan couldn't use it again. That would be the obvious thing to do. He makes another cup of tea and sets it out in front of the door, knocks loudly and they runs off before he can change his mind.</p><p>It's sort of a game after that. Adam ignores the vitamin C Ronan leaves with dinner, but takes the third cup of tea, and he texts Ronan <em>does this have caffeine in it</em> so he <em>is</em> drinking them. He doesn't take the tissues Ronan leaves with breakfast -- something else he has his own superior stash of, probably, though what the fuck makes a tissue <em>not good enough</em> -- but he takes the heating pad at lunchtime.</p><p>Ronan tries not to feel victorious each time one of his offering is accepted. He fails.</p><p>-</p><p>The fourth night of quarantine, when Ronan's watching tv and trying to ignore the itching suffocating dying feeling of another day trapped inside, he gets a text from Adam.</p><p>
  <em>Can you turn the volume up? I can almost make out the words</em>
</p><p>He frowns, confused. Adam has let him know on many occasions how easy it is for him to hear the tv from his bedroom, but it's never been framed as a good thing.</p><p>He replies <em>can't you watch shit on your laptop</em> before he realizes how fucking stupid that is. He's wanted Adam to accept things from him for the last ye- for the last two days, and now when Adam finally <em>asked</em> him for something beyond his share of the rent and a basic level of cleanliness, Ronan told him <em>no</em>.</p><p>Before he can swear at himself for blowing it, Adam texts him back: <em>I don't feel as isolated listening to yours</em></p><p>Ronan stares at his phone. Has Adam got his text threads mixed up? Does he think he's talking to someone that he has a <em>let's share our feelings</em> kind of relationship with? But he knows it's their tv; he has to know he's talking to Ronan. Maybe he's loopy on cough syrup after all.</p><p>Ronan could ask, but he doesn't really want that to be it. He puts the phone down and turns up the volume on the tv.</p><p>-</p><p>The next morning, after delivering breakfast and two kinds of cough drops -- Adam leaves the menthol-free ones and takes the ones that punish you for eating them, big surprise -- Ronan texts him, <em>what do you want to watch? or are you too busy working for the man</em></p><p>
  <em>I work for a nonprofit. Run by a woman.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>it's the 20th century parrish women can be the man</em>
</p><p>
  <em>...was that a typo or do you actually think this is the twentieth century</em>
</p><p><em>I'm offended you would ask that</em><br/>
<em>Of course I don't know what fucking century it is</em></p><p><em>Well I know what I want you to watch now</em><br/>
<em>A documentary. Or several documentaries. Or the news</em></p><p>
  <em>fuck no I'm not watching any of that horror movie bullshit</em>
</p><p><em>Okay you have a point</em><br/>
<em>I'm trying to focus right now,</em> and that's supposed to be a blow off, except somehow the rest of the text is <em>maybe just something that isn't too distracting?</em></p><p>Ronan digs through his DVDs, figuring out what movies have the least dialogue. It's kind of nice to have a problem to think through. It's nicer when Adam texts him after lunch <em>wait, was that French? What are you watching?</em> like Ronan surprised him, like his opinion of Ronan was just challenged.</p><p><em>what do you care you're supposed to be ignoring it</em><br/>
<em>whats easier to ignore than a foreign film</em></p><p><em>And yet, you're the one that put it on</em><br/>
<em>You're the one that owns it</em></p><p>
  <em>maybe I like being bored</em>
</p><p>Adam doesn't respond, but it was nice while it lasted, having a normal, friendly conversation.</p><p>-</p><p><em>okay fine then fuck it since you're such a damn weirdo</em>, Ronan texts Adam. <em>name a single movie that you HAVE seen</em></p><p>It's almost seven, and Ronan should be making dinner, but a task that was supposed to take a minute is still dragging on because Adam is a damn weirdo.</p><p>Not that Adam will admit it.</p><p><em>Yeah, no</em><br/>
<em>You own a thousand movies, none of which were made in the last thirty years</em><br/>
<em>I am not the weird one here</em></p><p>Adam texted him that he was done working for the day -- at <em>almost seven</em> -- and said Ronan could put on a movie without subtitles, if he wanted to. Ronan read <em>could</em> as <em>please</em> and <em>no subtitles</em> as <em>something I don't need to see the screen for</em>. He figured a movie that Adam has actually seen would be the best choice, except he also thought he'd be able to find one of those sometime before Adam came out of quarantine.</p><p>
  <em>every movie made in the last thirty years sucks</em>
</p><p>It's too late for experimental cooking. He starts throwing together a sandwich; that isn't going to require him to check a recipe sixteen times a minute.</p><p><em>You really love issuing blanket statements, don't you</em><br/>
<em>I do not understand you and Blue at all</em><br/>
<em>You both make sweeping generalizations, neither of you compromises, and you agree on absolutely nothing. You ought to be mortal enemies</em><br/>
<em>Instead somehow you're the closest friends I've ever seen</em></p><p>Ronan blinks down at his phone. He's used to people being confused by him and Sargent. He isn't used to them being confused for the right reasons.</p><p>
  <em>agreeing is boring</em>
</p><p><em>Except you judge anyone with a different opinion than you</em><br/>
<em>What is the point of that unless you want people to agree with you</em></p><p>
  <em>why should anyone else get to be right about shit</em>
</p><p><em>Yeah I guess that tracks</em><br/>
<em>How did the you two even meet? I've always wondered</em><br/>
<em>Blue was so vague about you, I wasn't sure I was allowed to ask</em></p><p><em>she just tries to be mysterious so she sounds more interesting</em><br/>
<em>it's not a secret or anything</em><br/>
<em>we met getting kicked out of the same bar</em></p><p><em>Oh, please tell me the full</em><br/>
<em>Story</em></p><p>He slipped up and sent the text too early. Since when does Adam slip up and do anything with less than complete control?</p><p>
  <em>sargent tried to start a fight with some guy who was harassing some chick</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tried to?</em>
</p><p><em>you've seen how short she is</em><br/>
<em>it was like a chihuahua trying to fight a bear</em></p><p><em>Okay, that's why Blue got thrown out of the bar, what did you get kicked out for</em><br/>
<em>Were you also rescuing damsels in distress</em></p><p><em>no</em><br/>
<em>the bartender clocked my fake ID</em></p><p>
  <em>Wait, how old were you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>why, you gonna lecture me</em>
</p><p><em>I promise I won't</em><br/>
<em>Just tell me</em></p><p>
  <em>19</em>
</p><p>He's carrying the sandwich down the hall and texting with his free hand, so he's outside of Adam's door when it arrives, close enough that he can hear Adam's laugh through the door. He freezes in place, his heart pounding.</p><p><em>So why didn't Blue get caught?</em><br/>
<em>She is THE SAME AGE AS YOU</em></p><p>He didn't know that Adam knew that. It's a long moment before he's able to put the plate down. He chickens out on knocking, retreats back to his room before he sends <em>whatever, your food's outside, I'm picking a movie now</em></p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>Why did I get a text from our downstairs neighbors about you harassing their dog</em>
</p><p>
  <em>sounds like a question for them</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Take a stab at it anyway</em>
</p><p><em>because they're uptight losers</em><br/>
<em>why are they bugging you with shit there's a pandemic</em></p><p><em>They do this when there isn't a pandemic, too</em><br/>
<em>They think I have nothing better to do than monitor your behavior</em><br/>
<em>You bug them, they bug me, I act sympathetic and then avoid them in the halls, it's a well-established routine</em></p><p>
  <em>"well-established" I've never heard about it</em>
</p><p><em>Because I do in fact have better things to do than monitor your behavior</em><br/>
<em>You're all adults who can handle your own disputes, I'm not going to get in the middle</em></p><p><em>except right now</em><br/>
<em>when you're getting in the middle</em></p><p><em>Well, there's a pandemic. I don't have a lot to do</em><br/>
<em>Also I'm concerned about the dog</em></p><p><em>I was just making faces at him through the window</em><br/>
<em>he looked sad and pathetic all cooped up in there</em></p><p><em>Hm</em><br/>
<em>Was that all you did?</em></p><p><em>yeah</em><br/>
<em>no I also made faces at the neighbors but whatever they suck</em></p><p>
  <em>Why didn't they just close the curtains if you were bugging them</em>
</p><p>
  <em>they did</em>
</p><p><em>Okay this is even stupider than I was expecting</em><br/>
<em>If they already solved the problem what do they think I'm going to do about it</em></p><p><em>they're hoping you kick me out</em><br/>
<em>cause they're too chicken shit to run me off themselves</em></p><p>
  <em>They aren't being very persuasive</em>
</p><p><em>do they need to</em><br/>
<em>be honest how often do you think about throwing me out</em></p><p>
  <em>Never? Why would I throw you out</em>
</p><p>
  <em>because I'm obnoxious</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not 'make him homeless during a pandemic' obnoxious</em>
</p><p>
  <em>aww you like me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I would like you more if you could peacefully co-exist with the other tenants in this building</em>
</p><p>
  <em>well now I have to bug them even more</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Very mature response</em>
</p><p>
  <em>you challenged me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If I did, it was a challenge to do the exact opposite</em>
</p><p><em>it's not my fault you never learned reverse psychology</em><br/>
<em>nitimur in vetitum</em></p><p>
  <em>...did you just use Latin on me? How many languages do you speak</em>
</p><p><em>zero</em><br/>
<em>no one speaks Latin</em></p><p><em>Uh-huh</em><br/>
<em>And I guess you don't speak English, either</em></p><p>
  <em>not according to my high school transcript</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Where did you pick up Latin? Do you have some shameful past as as a classics major?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>what the fuck no do I look like a weepy nerd</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Those are the only people I know who throw Latin around. Unless you studied law at some point</em>
</p><p><em>that's fucked up</em><br/>
<em>fuck</em></p><p>
  <em>Medicine?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>why do you only know shitty people</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Doctors are shitty people?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>yes and wannabe doctors are worse</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So why do you want to be able to communicate with them</em>
</p><p><em>I don't</em><br/>
<em>they should all get the fuck out of my language</em></p><p><em>Oh, Latin is YOUR language</em><br/>
<em>If I ask nicely will you share with me?</em></p><p>-</p><p>Ronan's face burns.</p><p>Is that flirting? No. It can't be. Adam isn't flirting with him. Right? Holy shit, is he? Fuck. What does he -- what does he <em>do</em>?</p><p>He doesn't know what the right response is, except that it's probably not what he does, which is sit motionless while his brain chases itself around in circles for five entire minutes. They'd been texting back and forth more or less immediately up to that point. Adam must have noticed that he stopped responding and figured that was the end of conversation. He would think it was weird if Ronan responded now. He should just let it drop.</p><p>Except <em>fuck that</em>, if Adam was flirting Ronan can't end the conversation <em>now</em>, like Adam scared him off. Ideally he could flirt back, if he could think of a single flirty thing to say, and now it's been six minutes, and anything would be better than nothing.</p><p>He walks into the bathroom and flushes the toilet, so that maybe Adam will think he'd put his phone down and not that he spent seven minutes silently panicking. Then he texts back, <em>not if you're gonna use it for LAWYER SHIT, fuck</em>, and flops onto his face on the couch. He leaves half an eye uncovered to watch his phone in case it lights up again. It doesn't. Fuck.</p><p>-</p><p>The seventh night of quarantine, Adam doesn't eat dinner.</p><p>Ronan doesn't stick around to watch Adam take the food once he's left it; he doesn't think Adam wants him to, and if he misses Adam's face he doesn't know that seeing him for a split second at a time would be any better. So he doesn't realize until an hour later that the food is still there. It's gone cold.</p><p>He texts Adam <em>is my food not good enough for you,</em> but there's no response.</p><p>He waits until it's late, long past the time anyone that isn't Ronan would eat dinner, and then he gives in and opens the door.</p><p>The lights are on. The lights are on, but Adam's lying on his bed, curled up on top of the covers. His back is to the door. Ronan can't see his face. He is horribly aware of the fact that he can't see Adam's face, that he can't tell if something's wrong.</p><p>He steps into the room. Doesn't ask himself what he's doing until he's already close enough to look over Adam's shoulder, and then he doesn't come up with an answer, because -- Adam looks godawful. His face is pale and flushed at the same time. The pillowcase is dark with sweat. He's lying on his side with his hands curled up by his chest, near his heart. It makes him look like a kid. It makes him look vulnerable.</p><p>Ronan puts the back of his hand to his forehead, the lightest possible touch, just enough to tell that that he's burning up.</p><p>Adam's eyes blink open.</p><p>Ronan freezes.</p><p>"Get out."</p><p>Ronan can't get out. He can't even pull his fucking hand away, even when Adam curves in on himself coughing. The coughing is a lot louder than his voice was.</p><p>"Are you okay?"</p><p>"Get <em>out</em>."</p><p>Ronan leaves.</p><p>He texts Adam, <em>sorry</em>. Types out the words <em>I was worried about you,</em> but deletes them. That's just an excuse.</p><p>It's the middle of the night when he sees that Adam texted back.</p><p><em>I'm sorry I yelled at you, you caught me off-guard</em>, and then it's a full minute later before he adds, <em>I would hate myself if I got you sick</em></p><p>
  <em>how'd it be your fault that I snuck into your room and got your cooties</em>
</p><p><em>You wouldn't have had to if I could take care of myself</em><br/>
<em>You shouldn't have had to take care of me at all</em></p><p>
  <em>yeah well there shouldn't be a plague</em>
</p><p><em>That's not the same thing</em><br/>
<em>It was hard to see you after everything you've done for me this week</em><br/>
<em>It would be REALLY hard to face you again if I paid you back by giving you the virus</em></p><p>
  <em>I've barely done shit</em>
</p><p><em>You have and you know it</em><br/>
<em>So, thanks</em></p><p>That could easily be the end of the conversation. Ronan should let it be the end: Adam apologized and thanked him, that's more than he could ever have expected after invading his privacy. There's no reason to push his luck.</p><p>He always pushes his luck.</p><p>
  <em>can't sleep?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Coughing woke me up. You?</em>
</p><p><em>can't sleep, won't sleep, who knows</em><br/>
<em>want me to put something on</em></p><p><em>It's late</em><br/>
<em>We should keep the volume down</em></p><p>
  <em>you play a show on your computer and I'll play it on the tv</em>
</p><p>They watch tv for a while, together and yet not, sending occasional texts about whatever's on screen. After a while Adam stops responding. Ronan figures he fell asleep, but he doesn't want to turn his tv off while he can still hear Adam's computer going very softly in the next room. He turns off the light and lays out on the couch, falls asleep in the flickering light from the screen.</p><p>-</p><p>"I'm going to order some pho," Adam says when Ronan picks up his phone. It almost went to voice mail in the time it took him to figure out why the fuck his phone was making that sound. "What do you want?"</p><p>"Are you asking me to have an opinion about fancy soup?"</p><p>"My mistake. I'll just get you what I'm having and you can deal."</p><p>Ronan snorts. "You couldn't text that?"</p><p>"I got my voice back today, I want to use it."</p><p>"Wow, big news," Ronan says like he doesn't mean it. "Congrats."</p><p>"These days, yes, it's big news. What are you going to do that's any more momentous than that?"</p><p>He shrugs with his voice. "Might go outside, walk around places, look at the sun -- you remember that big yellow thing in the sky?"</p><p>"Ha. I have the balcony, you know. I'm not trapped in a cave."</p><p>He does know that their tiny balcony opens onto Adam's room; it's why he's never been on it. The other day when he'd gone for a walk he'd seen Adam out there, sitting on the railing and dangling his legs over the side. He had started to wave and then felt stupid for doing it. He'd still felt stupid when Adam waved back, but had also felt so lightheaded he tripped on his own feet.</p><p>"You'd be better off in a cave," he grumbles. "You're gonna fall off that thing and break your neck."</p><p>"Oh, like you're gonna fall over your own feet?" Adam asks him, and Ronan feels like maybe he's the one with a fever, the one perched on a ledge.</p><p>-</p><p>He knows he's not supposed to be outside.</p><p>He's got Sargent on his phone and practically living in his mind every minute of the day; he believes in public health more than he believes in the actual fucking public. He knows that he's supposed to be staying inside and away from people.</p><p>But inside is killing him.</p><p>He stays put for as long as he can, makes do with <em>walkies</em> like a pet dog getting coerced into taking a shit outside instead of on the bedroom carpet, and when that doesn't work anymore he gets in his car and drives. At least driving means he isn't in breathing range of anyone.</p><p>At some point he's going to have to stop for gas. He doesn't think about that.</p><p>He gets out to some dusty one-lane highway he's never seen before, where all the place names mean nothing to him. He thinks that he could keep driving -- and then he thinks about Adam, back at the apartment, trapped in his room. What's he going to do? Text him <em>you're on your own,</em> or just not show up, let him figure out that he's been abandoned?</p><p>Ronan exhales, hard, and then flips a u-turn in the middle of the highway. It isn't as hard as he thought to head back into the city.</p><p>-</p><p>He stops and grabs some shit at the store, so at least his joyride will have accomplished something.</p><p>He's walking back to their building from his parking spot, arms full of groceries, when he spots Adam sitting on the balcony railing again. He has his face tilted up toward the sun, eyes shut.</p><p>"It's four o'clock, Parrish," he calls up to the second floor. "Shouldn't you be working?"</p><p>"I knocked off early," Adam says. "To stick it to the man."</p><p>"Does that mean you're too lazy to help me with the groceries?" He shifts the bags around until he can pull a baguette out of one of them, setting up his arm like he's about to throw a game-winning field goal.</p><p>Adam opens his eyes and holds his hands up in front of his face, catcher's position. "I can help. Unless you were bluffing."</p><p>Ronan doesn't bluff.</p><p>He takes aim, and then takes it again; this is gonna suck if he breaks Adam's window. He wishes he'd bought a softer bread.</p><p>He launches it up to the second floor. Adam catches it, easily.</p><p>-</p><p>Adam starts doing better, although he sticks to his room. Ronan only knows he's doing better because he hears less coughing, because he gets fewer texts late at night, because Adam <em>tells</em> him he's doing better.</p><p>Adam tells him a lot of things, lately.</p><p>"I'm sick of writing grant proposals, I want to have an unproductive conversation," Adam starts one call. Another time it's "I never noticed how off-putting the billboard outside my window is until I had to let it watch me every hour of the day." The next time Ronan calls to rant at him "you're not allowed to order shit anymore" when he finds ominous mystery vegetables in their grocery delivery and figures that Adam needs to be held accountable for his crimes against their refrigerator.</p><p>They leave the line open sometimes when they aren't talking. They call and say <em>hi</em> and then put the phones on speaker while they move around different rooms of the apartment, because "it feels less lonely," Adam says in one of those moments of startling honesty that he has, where he opens up when Ronan least expects it and then closes right back up again.</p><p>"I'm in the next room," Ronan points out. "We're probably ten feet away from each other."</p><p>"It feels farther. It feels like everyone is really far away."</p><p>"I didn't think you'd have trouble with this. You're already a loner."</p><p>"Thanks," Adam says dryly. "Some people might have said 'independent'."</p><p>"Some people are cowards. I could say <em>loser</em> if you like that better."</p><p>"I don't. I have been texting with my friends," he adds, like there's some point he's making. "Before you go feeling too sorry for me."</p><p>"They're probably all sitting around their apartments bored. You could call one of them instead of me." He'd worry that Adam would think he wants to get rid of him, but he sounds so half-assed, suggesting it.</p><p>"I don't want to impose on them."</p><p>"But you don't give a shit about wasting my time."</p><p>Adam's cheer is sudden and unrepentant. "Nope."</p><p>Ronan stops and leans against he wall, grounding himself. It's the wall to Adam's room. He has to ground himself a second time.</p><p>"You don't want to tell your friends that you're not doing okay," he says.</p><p>Adam doesn't respond right away. Ronan stays put.</p><p>Eventually, Adam says "it doesn't really work like that."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"It just doesn't," Adam says, and changes the subject.</p><p>-</p><p>His computer pops up with a little warning that he's getting a Skype call. If he doesn't pick it up before it goes away then he's going to have to figure out how to call <em>back</em>. Like hell is he doing that.</p><p>Ronan picks up on Skype while the tv's still playing in the background and the phone's still open. Three devices is four too many</p><p>"Everybody shut up," Ronan says. "I gotta get the tv."</p><p>"Uh-huh, love you too, Ronan." Sargent blows him two kisses in a row, fast, because she hasn't annoyed him enough already.</p><p>"Is someone there?" Adam asks. "How are you failing at being anti-social?"</p><p>"I said everybody shut up. Sargent's stupid face is on my computer, I'll call you back." He finds the mute button on the remote and then hangs up on Adam.</p><p>"Were you -- <em>talking</em> to someone?" Sargent demands. "On a <em>phone</em>?"</p><p>"I was seeing what Parrish wanted to do about dinner," which was why Ronan started the call, but they got sidetracked pretty fast. Somehow he hadn't ever got around to asking about dinner.</p><p>"...<em>Adam</em> Parrish?"</p><p>"Yes, Adam, how many fucking Parrishes do you think I live with?"</p><p>"Kind of surprised you've still got the first one. I thought he'd be running out of there the second his lease ended. I for sure didn't think you'd do anything drastic like make friends with the person you live with." She frowns. "Why are you calling someone you're in quarantine with? Isn't he right there?"</p><p>"He's <em>not</em> -- " Ronan's voice is too heated. He shuts his eyes and exhales. "He's got the stupid virus."</p><p>"Oh, that sucks," Sargent says, sympathetic like she can afford it because it doesn't really matter. "Is he going to be okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, he's mostly better, he's just stuck in his room forever."</p><p>"Is that...a bad thing?" </p><p>"<em>No</em>."</p><p>Sargent sighs, like the dramatic loser she is. "You know, I spent twenty minutes today talking about animal husbandry, by which I mean <em>cow sex</em>, and yet <em>this</em> conversation has weirder energy than the one about bull semen."</p><p>"That's 'cause everyone you know is a fucking weirdo who doesn't react right to shit."</p><p>"You are the number one weirdo I know who doesn't react to things appropriately."</p><p>"Name one time," Ronan challenges her, because he knows that will get her off on a rant about things that he did in the past, and off of the subject of things that he's doing right now.</p><p>-</p><p>Adam, apparently, <em>still</em> can't leave his room.</p><p>"But you're not sick anymore," Ronan says, for what feels like the thousandth time.</p><p>"I'm not going to risk it," Adam tells him. "I'm going to stay in here as long as the CDC tells me to."</p><p>"I think you just want me to keep cooking for you."</p><p>"Yeah, believe me, that's not it. I do not want you to do <em>more</em> things for me."</p><p>"Why not?" Ronan asks, instead of making a joke the way that Adam's dry tone is inviting him to. "Why is it hard letting someone do things for you?"</p><p>There's a pause on the line, long enough for someone to breathe in, reconsider, and then pull the phone away so it wouldn't pick up a sigh. "Because now I owe you."</p><p>"You're spending two weeks locked in solitary confinement so that I don't get a runny nose. You don't owe me shit."</p><p>"I don't agree with that characterization of events."</p><p>"Okay, pretend you're right. You could just pay me back."</p><p>"Except it's not a loan," Adam argues. "I can't just pay you back when there's no tangible value and no agreed upon terms. I could let you take care of me and then find out after that it costs me more than I can afford."</p><p>"Who helps someone so they can extort them?" </p><p>"I'm not saying you would. I'm just saying that it happens."</p><p><em>Saying that it has happened?</em> Ronan doesn't like that. He can't get the words out.</p><p>"It's literally impossible for me to blackmail you right now," he says instead. "You're not even sick anymore. You're just staying in there because you're paranoid."</p><p>"Respectful of public health guidelines," Adam corrects him.</p><p>"<em>Paranoid,</em> but there's nothing stopping you from taking care of yourself. I can't bully you to pay me back because you don't need me for jack shit."</p><p>"I don't agree with that either."</p><p>Ronan does not bother to hide his irritated huff. "If I'm a dick to you, you can just say <em>fuck you</em> and come get your own food. It'd be my own damn fault if I got sick at that point."</p><p>"It's not about -- " Adam cuts himself off, not for long enough; he still sounds irritated. "I would be in a worse place right now if it weren't for you. I'm just trying to acknowledge that."</p><p>"Really? 'Cause it sounds like you'd rather be worse off, alone."</p><p>Adam gets quiet. Adam gets so quiet for so long that Ronan double checks the call is still going.</p><p>"I wouldn't," he says eventually . "Sorry, I'm not being very grateful."</p><p>"Screw grateful. Just be coherent."</p><p>"Is 'thank you' coherent?"</p><p>"It'll do," Ronan grumbles.</p><p>"I <em>am</em> glad I'm here," Adam says. "In this apartment, I mean, not this room. I'm sick of my room. I have started to fantasize about the couch in the living room."</p><p>"You're never in the living room anyway."</p><p>"That's going to change," Adam warns him. "I'm going to be there all the time. You're going to get sick of me."</p><p>Ronan says, as stuffy and obnoxious as he can manage, "I don't agree with that characterization."</p><p>"You don't, huh?" He can hear Adam's smile in his voice. "I guess we'll just have to see."</p><p>-</p><p>"Have you started to feel like time is meaningless?" Adam asks at some point. He'd been quiet for a while; working, maybe. Ronan isn't sure what day it is, but <em>Adam's working</em> is a pretty safe bet seven days a week.</p><p>"I started feeling like that fifteen years ago," Ronan says. "Time has always been meaningless."</p><p>"'Fifteen years' is a measurement of time."</p><p>"And?" he challenges, although he does know what Adam is talking about. Forgetting days of the week isn't anything new, but he's started losing track of when one day ends and when another day starts. He fell asleep on the couch and woke up with no idea how long he'd been out, if it had been an hour or an entire night. He would've fucked up meals by now, except Adam just tells him when he's hungry and Ronan goes and makes something; sometimes that's noon and sometimes that's seven o'clock and sometimes it's the middle of the night. It turns out Adam does eat crappy frozen midnight snacks, which is fine with Ronan, but which doesn't help with the whole <em>when even is it</em> problem. He isn't really sure how long Adam's been in quarantine.</p><p>"You get to leave your room soon, right?"</p><p>"<em>Soon</em> is also a measurement of time," Adam says instead of answering, because he's an asshole. Ronan knew that before, but he hadn't totally got what that meant. He knew that Adam didn't take crap from him, that if he had a problem with Ronan he'd be open and blunt about it, that he stood his ground when he thought he was right; Ronan admired that about him.</p><p>He hadn't figured out that Adam could be a jerk to him just for fun, though. He likes the idea of Adam having fun. He likes the idea of Adam having fun because of him.</p><p>"Yeah, and it's the same exact amount of time as <em>forever</em>, what's your point," he says. Adam makes a sound, not quite agreeing. "What are you going to do when you get out?"</p><p>"Everything's closed and we're still going to be sheltering at home. What am I supposed to do?"</p><p>"Celebrate, Jesus, how can you not think of anything you want to do?"</p><p>"I'm not in a celebratory mood yet, I guess."</p><p>"Fine. I'm going to get cake and beer for myself, you do whatever."</p><p>Adam asks, sounding weirdly distant, "are you really going to be that happy to see me?"</p><p>There's no way in hell Ronan can say <em>no</em> to that. "Sure," he answers, flippant, "why wouldn't I be?"</p><p>"There is one thing that I want to do," he says, slow, like the words are taking a long time to reach him. "But you're going to laugh at me."</p><p>"Probably. What it is?"</p><p>"I want to watch a movie with you."</p><p>Ronan frowns. He doesn't understand why that's funny. He doesn't understand it, period. "We do that already. We can do that right now."</p><p>Adam says, "I can't sit next to you right now."</p><p>Ronan's mouth falls open. He thinks maybe he makes a noise. He can't tell; his ears are all clogged up with the roar of rushing blood, a billion little red cells running around asking <em>did he just -- does that mean -- am I,</em> useless questions with no answers.</p><p>He forces some words out and just hopes that they're at an appropriate volume, he really can't tell. "Is that what you want?"</p><p>Adam answers, impossibly, "Yes."</p><p>"And if I put my arm around you. Would you still want that?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"And if I whispered in your ear when I talked over the movie to annoy you -- "</p><p>Adam laughs, "yes, Ronan, that's what I want."</p><p>"Fuck," he says, awed, and then crashing back down to ground, "wait, fuck, when do you get to leave your room?"</p><p>"Day after tomorrow." Adam hesitates. "I shouldn't have said anything until then, I just -- I wanted to know if I had something to look forward to. Or if I should get used to hiding in here because we're trapped in the apartment together and I made things unbearably awkward."</p><p>"No." Ronan thunks his head against the wall and then slumps down onto the couch. "Or yes, shit, you know what I mean. Stop hiding in your room, you're killing me."</p><p>"That's what I'm <em>not</em> doing."</p><p>Ronan exhales hard, irritated. "This is worse than that stupid virus."</p><p>"Yeah, it is," Adam says. Ronan sits bolt upright. "I'm still going to wait until I know I'm not contagious."</p><p>Ronan groans and collapses back down, sliding to the ground until only his feet are left up on the couch. </p><p>-</p><p>Adam kicks him off the phone because he has a call scheduled with his friends. Ronan texts Sargent.</p><p><em>hey</em><br/>
<em>how's shit</em><br/>
<em>the flamingos or whatever</em></p><p><em>You still don't know what I do, huh</em><br/>
<em>Or where I am</em></p><p><em>no</em><br/>
<em>tell me again</em></p><p>
  <em>So that you can ignore me again?</em>
</p><p><em>yeah</em><br/>
<em>you tell me shit and I forget it</em><br/>
<em>it's a perfect system sargent what's your problem</em></p><p>
  <em>I'll tell you if you tell me why you want me to distract you</em>
</p><p>Ronan chews it over, but there's no getting Sargent to change her mind about anything, and he sort of wants to say it out loud. Or whatever, put it on paper. Or on electricity and melted sand, shit, phones make life so fucking stupid. </p><p>He taps out the words <em>I'm nervous</em></p><p><em>Okay</em>, and she explains her work to him yet again, and he banishes all knowledge of it from his mind yet again. Sargent's job has the balls to take her away from him; it doesn't deserve to be remembered.</p><p>-</p><p>"How are your friends?" Ronan asks, when Adam calls him back.</p><p>"Hm. Give me a second, I need to decide how to answer that."</p><p>"With the truth?" he suggests, bewildered. "How else would you answer a question?"</p><p>"Depends on who's asking and why. Do you care how they're doing?" Adam asks, curious rather than offended. "Or are you making conversation?"</p><p>"Yeah, that's me, Mr. Small Talk." He can't actually remember the names of any of Adam's friends; another deliberate act of spite against people who get to have something that he doesn't. That's not the same as wanting bad shit to happen to any of them, mostly. "I care if they're fucked up enough that it fucks you up."</p><p>"Nothing that dramatic. Although I feel bad for Benjy, he's been living alone this whole time and it's getting to him."</p><p>"<em>You've</em> been living alone this whole time."</p><p>"No, I've been living with you."</p><p>"And that's better?" he says in the only way that he can say it: like a joke.</p><p>"You already know the answer to that," because right, Adam wasn't going to reward him for that cop out. "I think I might be doing better than anyone on the call."</p><p>"You have the plague," Ronan reminds him.</p><p>"I got over the plague. I might now have immunity to the plague."</p><p>"Immunity that you got by <em>having the plague,</em> what does anyone else have to complain about that's worse than that?"</p><p>"Job loss, loneliness, anxiety..."</p><p>Ronan blows a raspberry.</p><p>"Gillian's mad because she was just ready to start dating again and now that's on hold indefinitely."</p><p>"Oh, shit. That sucks."</p><p>"It does," Adam replies warily. "Why do you have so much sympathy all of a sudden?"</p><p>"I meant for us," he says before he can think about it. "Because we -- uh. We're -- shit."</p><p>Adam rescues him from his own awkwardness, but not without letting him suffer a bit first. "It's the <em>meeting someone new</em> part that's gotten hard, not the <em>interact with another human being</em> part. We can date."</p><p>"Interacting with other human beings has always been hard," Ronan argues. "And now there's no going to a movie theater or a museum to get out of talking to someone."</p><p>"When did you take a date to a museum?"</p><p>"It was just an example."</p><p>"It was an example that was sitting right on the tip of your tongue."</p><p>"I can be classy."</p><p>"Yeah, I guess you can," Adam says, serious. "I don't really need an excuse to not talk to you."</p><p>Ronan has to clear his throat. "It'd still be nice to do something."</p><p>"We can do dinner. I owe you about two weeks of cooking."</p><p>"You really don't."</p><p>"Maybe," he says in a way that means <em>I do and you're not even a little bit right</em>. "But I want to."</p><p>Ronan never really stopped worrying about cooking for Adam. It was stressful and hard and a pain in the ass, and he liked doing it. He got to do something to make Adam's day better. He got to show Adam, <em>hey, I can do stuff for you.</em></p><p>He hadn't really thought what it was like from Adam's side, except to argue with him that he wasn't doing that much for him by, uh, doing stuff for him. He hadn't let himself wonder if Adam felt anything but annoyed by it, if Adam was impressed or pleased or flattered.</p><p>He definitely hadn't wondered if Adam would ever want to do something for him, not to pay him back, but just to make his day better.</p><p>"Okay," Ronan says. "But I'm picky, so you better be good."</p><p>"Oh," Adam says, much too casual. "I'm good."</p><p>Ronan's face burns.</p><p>-</p><p>Ronan starts tracking time again, a completely involuntary reaction. He makes it to the last night of Adam's quarantine okay, and then the minutes tick over to the next day but it still isn't over yet. He's curled up with his legs over the side of the armchair, and there's music playing softly in Adam's room, carrying through the wall and the phone, and he has to ask.</p><p>"Do you mean it?"</p><p>"Hm?" Adam sounds distracted. He's been reading for the last couple hours, a series of articles so boring that even his voice can't make them sound interesting to Ronan. "Do I mean what?"</p><p>Ronan breathes.</p><p>"You're lonely," he starts, because it has to be said. "Do you want to be close to someone, or do you want to be close to <em>me</em>?"</p><p>"I want to be close to <em>you</em>." He sounds stunned and a little bit hurt. "Did I do something wrong?"</p><p>Ronan bites his thumb. He doesn't know how to answer that. "I didn't even think you <em>liked</em> me two weeks ago."</p><p>"I didn't know you two weeks ago. I just knew the guy who got in fights with our neighbors and tried to pay the utility bill in quarters."</p><p>"I am that guy."</p><p>"You are, that's just a lot less important now." He breathes out, irritated or desperate. "Two weeks ago you probably just thought of me as the guy who works too much and nags you about letting wild birds into the apartment, it's not like you liked me that much, either."</p><p>Ronan says, "I did."</p><p>The music's still going in Adam's room. Ronan can't focus on it enough to tell what's playing.</p><p>"I didn't know that," Adam says.</p><p>"You weren't supposed to."</p><p>"What was I supposed to do?"</p><p>"Move out, at some point." Ronan shrugs. "Or I'd go live in the Outback with Sargent."</p><p>"That isn't even the right hemisphere -- " Adam sighs. "You weren't ever going to tell me how you felt?"</p><p>"Come on, Parrish, if I asked you out two weeks ago, before the world fucking ended, would you have said yes?"</p><p>"No," he admits. "I would've said no, and I would have been missing out. I would've regretted it if I never knew you better."</p><p>"You can't regret something you don't know about."</p><p>"I'm trying to be sweet, Lynch," but he doesn't sound sweet, he sounds crabby as hell, and that of all things makes Ronan feel better.</p><p>"I would've missed this too," he says. Adam doesn't call him out for contradicting himself, so that must've been okay. "Are you in bed?"</p><p>"Yeah. Where are you right now, on the couch?"</p><p>"Armchair. We'd be right next to each other if this stupid wall wasn't in the way."</p><p>"At least we have phones. It's not like we have to whisper through a crack in the wall."</p><p>Ronan scowls. "How fucking dramatic can you get?"</p><p>"You're the one cursing at a wall for keeping us apart."</p><p>"That doesn't mean you have to drag Ovid into it."</p><p>Adam asks, like he already knows the answer, "does it help if I was thinking of Shakespeare?"</p><p>"That fucking hack?"</p><p>"I didn't want to mention The Metamorphoses in case thinking about Latin got you too worked up."</p><p>Ronan huffs. "You know Pyramus and Thisbe aren't a fucking relationship goal, right? That story ends stupid bad for both of them."</p><p>"Thanks, because obviously I know everything about the story except for how it ends," Adam says dryly. "I must have missed those 90 seconds of Midsummer Night's Dream."</p><p>"As long as you saw the part where the chick fucks a donkey."</p><p>That gets him that shocked laugh that he likes so much. "Oh, hang on, I need to plug my phone in. Don't hang up?"</p><p>"I won't."</p><p>"I know, just..."</p><p>"I'm not going anywhere," Ronan says. "We're stuck in here, remember?"</p><p>He stays on the line. They don't talk much. Adam goes back to reading, the occasional flip of a page breaking up the quiet. Ronan is on the edge of drifting off when he hears Adam say, "Ronan? I meant it."</p><p>-</p><p>Ronan wakes up to the sound of a door opening.</p><p>He twists around to look behind him -- <em>ow</em>, bad idea, why did he fall asleep sitting sideways in the armchair -- and then freezes.</p><p>He's barely seen Adam at all in the last two weeks, and not like this, up close and healthy and real. He doesn't look how Ronan remembers him from before, either. Somehow quarantine made him <em>hotter</em>. Meanwhile Ronan is tangled up in a knot and wearing the t-shirt and boxers he slept in, how is that fair?</p><p>Except Adam is staring like he's stunned, too, and then he smiles with half of his mouth, happy but nervous. "Hi."</p><p>Ronan gives up on untangling himself, just falls out of the chair and scrambles up to his feet; it's faster that way. He crosses the room and kisses Adam and only <em>then</em> has time to think <em>hey, maybe I should say something</em>.</p><p>He drops his hand from the side of Adam's face down to his shoulder. Adam opens his eyes and watches Ronan, expectant.</p><p>Ronan still can't think of anything to say, so he goes with "hi" which is too little and too late. Adam fucking knows it, too, because he shakes his head and silently laughs at Ronan's expense.</p><p>"Hi," Adam repeats, cheerfully mocking him. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Adam -- "</p><p>Ronan circles an arm around Adam's shoulders and pulls him close. It surprises him, maybe, because he drop the joke. Not that Ronan would care if Adam kept making fun of him, as long as he could drape himself around Adam and feel the warmth of his body against him. </p><p>Adam wraps his arms loosely around Ronan, hands pressed against his back. He rests his head against his shoulder and breathes out deeply.</p><p>They stand like that for a while, and then Adam says, quiet, "it <em>is</em> nice to see you again."</p><p>Ronan nods, rubbing the side of his face against Adam's.</p><p>Adam pulls away enough to make eye contact and grins like he's just decided something. He kisses Ronan once, quickly, and steps back. "Come on, I want to make you breakfast."</p><p>Ronan stops thinking <em>Adam Adam Adam</em> long enough to check, and yup, turns out he's starving. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Mm-hm. You," Adam says, leading him toward the kitchen, "make the worst scrambled eggs I've ever had."</p><p>Ronan can't even fake being offended about that. He's too busy watching everything Adam does, getting in his way as he moves around the kitchen, brushing a hand against his whenever he gets a chance, struck over and over again at the miracle of having Adam in front of him.</p><p>It turns out Adam isn't bad at cooking. He might be better if he weren't distracted, but he keeps searching out Ronan with his eyes, fixing a look on him like <em>is that really you?</em> Any time he loses sight of Ronan he stops and finds him again, <em>yes, it's you, there you are</em>.</p><p>Ronan's new awareness of dates and times hasn't fucked off yet, even though he doesn't need it anymore, so he knows it's a weekday. He raises an eyebrow when Adam heads for the living room after breakfast instead of his room.</p><p>"I told my boss I would be offline today," Adam says, easily. "You owe me a movie."</p><p>Face burning, Ronan says, "you should've held out for something better than that."</p><p>"If I think of anything else I want from you, I'll let you know," Adam says, which does fuck all to help him stop blushing.</p><p>Ronan argues with Adam's movie choice, and slings his arm around him when Adam sits down on the couch after putting the movie on anyway, and whispers in his ear during every important bit of dialogue. Adam complains about his DVD collection long after the movie's already started, and leans against his side, and puts his fingers up to his lips to silence him when he talks over the good parts. Both of them reach out in a dozen different ways: <em>you're still there?</em></p><p>Halfway through the second movie, Adam says, with a note of tension he can't completely hide, "usually I need a lot of space."</p><p>"No shit," Ronan says. "I have lived with you this whole time."</p><p>"Yes, and I've lived with <em>you</em>. Don't pretend you don't just vanish for long periods of time to be by yourself."</p><p>He buries his nose in Adam's hair. "So we have common interests, that's a good thing."</p><p>"We both need our own space at the best of times, and now we're stuck in the same apartment together for -- who knows how long."</p><p>"If you need space so bad you could try not leaning on me so hard my arm falls asleep."</p><p>Adam turns his face up toward Ronan, frowning. He doesn't move off of his arm. "I don't need space <em>right now</em>. That doesn't mean it won't be a problem later."</p><p>"Cool. When that time comes, we'll worry about it."</p><p>Adam's frown wavers. He pulls it back into place, but not so fast Ronan can't see the smile under it. "You don't even believe in time."</p><p>"Nope," Ronan says. "Shut up, I can't hear the film."</p><p>Adam laughs and leans in the few inches it takes to kiss Ronan. They both miss the end of the movie.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you like this fic, you can <a href="https://toast-the-unknowing.tumblr.com/post/629825342829412352/roommatesau-unrequited-love-do-you-ever-feel">reblog it on tumblr</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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